Why so BIG?

Americans have plenty of obsessions, but size obsession seems especially deep-rooted. Life as a competition starts particularly early for boys, as they are steered toward sports at early ages. I remember comparing my cognitive abilities with classmates as early as 1st grade, battling each other at Minute Math, littering hanging poster board with shiny star stickers. I don't think I was the only one in the class with that line of thinking, as a few of my nemeses stared back at me while I surveyed the room. This love of competition is fostered by the encouragement received from adults and the admiration/resentment from your peers, whether your victory was academic or athletic. Ultimately, competitive needs begin to interfere with emotional feelings, insecurities and inadequacies. The teenage years serve as an awkward playground for these feelings to fester.

Take a look at the high school kid with the curtain-like shirt, shoes a size too big, pants hanging off of his ass. He gets picked up by his father driving the Escalade, off to get dinner in combo form from the fast food joint where ordering a small gets you a medium and so on. Chubby father piles out of the driver side and ambles toward the door, greeted by his collagen injected bride wearing her 4 carat rock, hair to the door frame. Twenty-something daughter marches by, cell phone attached to ear, silicone holding steadfast. Commercial for penis enlargement blares in the living room, paper bags of empty calories and heart disease spread across the counter.

Big cars, big meals, big muscles, big personalities, big body parts, big bank accounts. The American Dream. Home of the free, land of the imperial.

"Soldiers lost their lives so I could drive my truck with the 'Calvin pissing on Ford' sticker"


People of both genders live their whole lives with body issues, feeling like they could never meet the so-called standards of beauty. The words "normal" and "perfect" exist, but their meanings do not. Yet people will always strive to win the invisible game played within their own minds.
"I have a better job."
"I have a prettier wife."
"My car is more expensive."
"I have a gold watch."
"My penis is bigger."
"My bank account has more zeroes."
Can we really call it a game if everybody loses?

Master of the obvious, and other stuff too

The future supposedly has never been more bleak. Debt is spiraling out of control. Anti-government sentiment is spreading like wildfire all over the world. And yet, here I am expressing my frustrations on a laptop, looking down brow furrowed at our collective inability to decipher fact from political rhetoric.

We have many options at our fingertips these days when it comes to information gathering, none of which require too much work. But I have decided to take it one step further and make it even easier, by collecting useful tidbits and extrapolating on them for your entertainment/education/irritation. I plan to use this space to express my opinion, share facts, make us laugh and to sell out to corporate America. Come along for the ride, won't you?