Dating and Deception

Humans are intelligent animals, for the most part, however we don't always use these smarts for our collective best interests, but instead to deceive and manipulate. We design breathtaking architecture, program mind-blowing software and create synthetic body organs. We also swindle each other of money, morals, pride and trust. Many people will do anything to achieve the social standards and norms set forth by history and our parents (though that is another topic for another day).


It is widely accepted that one needs to marry, start a family, buy a house and build a prosperous (monetarily) career to be considered a success. The romanticizing of this ideal starts at a young age and the fairy tale is drilled into every little girl's head, princess waiting on her prince, good intentions and picket fences abound. I believe this is a great ideal, not necessarily right for everyone, but the means to the end have veered us way off course.

Courtship is constantly modernizing, yet lacks evolution. Gone, for the most part is chivalry, replaced by a mix of feminism and apathy, but what remains is far more troubling. Dating starts off as "getting to know each other", but what is really being sold? More likely a polished turd than a dusty gemstone.


There comes a time in each relationship where things become more comfortable. Makeup isn't always applied, morning breath is shared, flatulence rears its ugly head. In a lot of cases, the gloves come off, tact becomes less inherent and frustrations mount. No longer are we trying to impress each other, rather reverting to something more similar to our actual selves.





First dates and dinners and movies and ball games and ice skating and concerts. We spend a lot of time painting misleading self-portraits. We shouldn't be impressed by the expensive car, the spray tan and the flashy jewelry yet we are. What really lies behind what our eyes see and our ears hear?

Let's be honest, we would all be in a better place if we were all comfortable with ourselves first. Accepting and loving who we are would go a long way in establishing a strong foundation for a loving relationship. Make that first date about exposing yourselves (not you perv!), putting true self on display. Spare hurt and remorse, save time and sanity. Talk about your shortcomings at least as much as your best qualities, put it all out there so your partner is not surprised when you smell like stripper perfume or you have melted chocolate in your pocket. Explain why you sit on the toilet for a half hour. Describe why you are obsessed with fake sports. Tell the story about that time you got fired for fellating a co-worker in the restroom. Up the ante, be yourself, honestly.